Follow Up

A few things to share:

At a birthday party this past weekend, I saw a woman who is pregnant and due on Halloween.
That's just about when I would've been due.
I looked at her belly and thought that's what size I would be right now if I were still pregnant.
Yet I feel so not pregnant.
My body feels so my own.
Yet I dreamt the other night that Sirena asked, "Are you still pregnant after all?"
I said I was.
There have been pregnant women in my dreams lately.
My body and spirit are preparing.

Last January I had an abnormal pap smear that showed low-grade abnormal cells.
That means that I need to have paps every 6 months instead of every year, to keep an eye on the cells and make sure they don't become high-grade abnormal.
I had my followup pap last week and got the best call I've gotten in a long time afterwards: it was my OB-GYN telling me that my pap came out normal.
Laurie was over helping us pack, and when I shared the news, she said, "I bet it was the pregnancy and miscarriage that cleared the abnormal cells."
Imagine that... perhaps it was.
Perhaps it was my body knowing exactly what it needed so that I could have a healthy pregnancy without those abnormal cells.
Gynecological health is a big deal for a woman.
That feels good.

The dahlia I planted with the remains of my miscarriage was the first to bloom, a gorgeous bubbly gold pink color.
I brought it to Laurie, who will care for it in her garden since we're moving.
It made me smile, Dahlia too.
Dahlia sang to the dahlia flowers to help them grow, that sweet little voice of hers in perfect key.
I am madly deeply in love with my daughter.
And with my husband.