A Most Magnificent Rose

Let me tell you about my grandmother, Rosy.
Let me tell you about her face... like a movie star.
Let me tell you that when I was a child, to me she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Let me tell you how she loved her son, my father.
Let me tell you about the times they spent at Roushdi beach in Alexandria.


Let me tell you about the company she kept.
Let me tell you about her lovely mother, Clementine,
Such a lady.
Let me tell you about her son's mother-in-law, Aloisia,
My other grandmother -
The way they so deeply respected and cherished each other -
And Aloisia's friend Estelle,
Together to celebrate my parents' wedding.
Let me tell you that this is one of my favorite photos in the world.


Let me tell you about the foods she would prepare
With the North African spices.
Let me tell you how she would come from Italy to see us
And stay for months at a time.
Let me tell you how she came to care for us for a long time after my parents split up,
How she showed up so completely for her son and for her granddaughters.


Let me tell you how much she loved her grandchildren,
Sharon and me and my uncle's son Marco.




Let me tell you how close I always felt to her
Even though she lived far away.
Let me tell you about the long phone conversations we would have
And her unabashed conviction of always telling people whatever was on her mind,
No concern with offending yet so refined at the same time.



Let me tell you how when I graduated from college
I could not imagine doing so without her there.
Let me tell you how she had also come when I began my senior year
And took me to the supermarket and bought me food and containers
And spent a week cooking and preparing meals I could keep in my freezer.
Let me tell you how she told me then,
Don't ever skimp on food. If you need money for food, let me know.


Let me tell you about her older sister, Lina
Who is almost 92 and has outlived her husband, her son and now her sister.
Let me tell you how Lina is like a third grandmother to me.


Let me tell you how today I sat with my father and we called Lina to tell her her sister had passed
This morning at 5am, one day after her 87th birthday.

Let me tell you that Rosy lived a full life.
Let me tell you how years ago with her second husband, she had sat at a dinner with Golda Meyer.
Let me tell you about her closets filled with dresses and shoes and handmade silk undergarments from Egypt of the forties and fifties.
Let me tell you how I had some light blue embroidery from one of her nightgowns stitched into the sash of my wedding dress.
Let me tell you about the solid gold earrings that she had unearthed from an archeological site in Egypt decades ago
Which were on display in her living room.

Let me tell you how many languages she spoke... French, Italian, Arabic, Greek, English.
Let me tell you how I always spoke to her in French.
Let me tell you how everyone in her neighborhood called her La Signora Favia.
Let me tell you how she lived for over 50 years at the outermost tip of the heel of the boot that is Italy.

Let me tell you how she made jam out of rose petals and cooked zucchini flowers
And rarely threw anything out in the kitchen because everything was edible if you just knew how to prepare it.

Let me tell you how she smoked cigarettes like they were going out of style,
At least a pack a day for at least 50 years,
And how eventually I stopped bugging her to give them up.
Let me tell you how she had a stroke while I was on my honeymoon
And lost the need to smoke.

Let me tell you how that stroke changed her
And how I missed the depth of our phone conversations after that.
Let me tell you that it has always made me sad to live so far away from her,
From almost all of my family.

Let me tell you how I last saw Rosy in 2001
When I went to spend Passover in Paris with her and Lina and Lina's son Eric who died a few years later.
Let me tell you that, even though times had changed all of us, I felt at home there,
In this apartment where I had spent so many Shabbat afternoons as a child.

Let me share with you how deeply I will miss her presence in this life.
Let me tell you how much I have loved and will love her always.
Let me tell you that I am sure she knew how much I cherished her in my life.
Let me tell you that today I bought two dozen bright yellow roses with pink-orange tips
To remember my Rosy with warmth in my heart and a smile on my lips.
I love you, Rosy...
Rest peacefully.