Middle Of The Night

When I was pregnant with Dahlia, especially during the second half of my pregnancy, I would get up each night around 4am and eat a bowl of yogurt with cereal.
If I didn't, I wasn't able to get back to sleep after waking up to pee.
I think I've reached that part of my pregnancy now, where I can't get back to sleep unless I have something to eat.
Tikva must be hungry, so after trying to fall asleep again for almost an hour, I decided to get up.

I used to love that quiet time of night all alone.
I'd read birth stories or just sit there feeling Dahlia kick inside me.
Imagine what was to come, and how many times a night I'd be awakened by a hungry child or a wet diaper.
Then she came, and I continued to be awake in the middle of the night, only not alone.

I had this small golden yellow lamp on my nightstand while I was nursing Dahlia, and it would give off the most beautiful dim light.
I'd look down at her as she nursed, all those calming love hormones running through my body.
I was reading The Da Vinci Code during those first weeks, and the middle of the night while nursing was my favorite time to take in another chapter.
Dave would be fast asleep at my left.

It feels fitting that I am back in San Francisco for these middle of the night awake times.
The fog horn is still blowing in the distance, one of my favorite things about living out near the ocean.
It's delightfully quiet out here, even during the day, with little traffic and really no city noise.
Feels like the suburbs even though it's still the city.

Okay... carbs and protein and calcium are now filling my belly, and Tikva seems pleased.
I'm going to try and get back to sleep.