Falling In Love

Bliss.
Complete bliss.
The feeling of my tiny daughter's skin against mine.
The warmth and softness of her.
The smell of her.
Her tiny fingernails grazing my skin.
Even her drool on my chest.

Today we held Tikva again.
This time skin to skin.
Heart to heart.
She slept cozily the entire time.
Comforted, completely peaceful.

Today another hint of what is ahead when she comes home.
And yet I am completely here, now, in the incredible beauty that is our present.

If it is possible to fall more deeply in love with Tikva...
If it is possible to believe in her even more...
If it is possible to be even more with her, even more at her side...
If it is possible for anything to feel more natural...
If it is possible for her to feel more at ease...
Today is the day all of those things happened.

People are asking us now if there is a timeline for when Tikva will be able to come home.
What else needs to happen to move toward that reality.
I don't really know how to answer those questions.
The doctors hesitate to make any promises.
And we are so in the moment, so in the day-by-day day-to-day of it all.
We are just WITH OUR GIRL.
Each step Tikva takes is one step closer to coming home, and that is the reality, the vision we are holding.

She has done so much already in just 28 days; so much.
I have no doubt that she will continue to amaze not only her parents and her loving community, but also the most cynical and scientific of doctors.
For now, for today, I know only that she is a wonder, a miracle, a mighty being of light, hope and love.
Tomorrow our nurse Allyson is going to start teaching us some of the things we will need to know when we do bring Tikva home.

Dahlia wanted to visit her little sister today, and she came with me to the ICN after school.
She wore her new "I'm with Tikva" t-shirt... we went to get matching t-shirts over the weekend, in honor of our little girl.
Like her parents, Dahlia is holding the vision of welcoming her baby sister into the fold of our loving home.
Into our warm family bed.
Into big yummy dinners with our extended family.
Into the biggest welcome home celebration you could ever imagine... to which you are ALL invited.