Guardian Angels & Small Miracles Everywhere

I love Liz. She is married to Cal, one of Dave's oldest friends in the world. She has become a dear friend to me very quickly, and has been holding our family so completely and lovingly. Liz is Kat's sister, Toney's sister-in-law, Kessa's aunt. This beautiful picture is of Liz and her daughter Ryann, both wearing their Tikva necklaces. Liz gave me my own necklace back in August just before we went to the mountains - mine has a pendant with Tikva's name, and one with Dahlia's name.

I wear it every day. I keep the Tikva pendant on the right, because that is where in her chest her big brave heart grew while she was in my belly. It's also because her right eye always seemed to peer more wide open than her left, and on her final day it was the eye through which I could see her soul.

Today, Liz sent me this: So, I held that little peanut this morning as my sister slept. I told her that if she still knew how to communicate with our little girl Tikva, (because now Kessa was down here with us) to thank her for helping Kessa get here safe and sound and to let her know that we love her and her mommy misses her. She looked right up at me as I spoke and then she closed her eyes. I think she was letting her know.

On August 24, after our Celebration of Hope and Love for Tikva, Liz wrote me this: Dear Gal, I wanted to share something with you, feelings I have been having. I remember when I first heard about your pregnancy with Tikva- how excited we were to hear your family was growing. Then, I remember hearing about your ultrasound and feeling so scared for you. Then, Tikva arrived and while your entire family, especially Tikva, was given so much love by your community I remember feeling such joy for you to know your daughter was doing well. Then, every morning that I would wake and rush to the computer to read your blog it was for all the feelings I was feeling for again, you. The mommy in me has ached for the loss you are feeling. I heard what you said today about missing the baby that was yours and not the rest of the world's. All along I have felt that pain with you. I know how much you love your girls. I feel the same love for my own. The Sunday after Tikva’s passing I was in church with my family and I cried the biggest mommy tears I have ever felt. I felt such a sense of loss for a daughter that was not mine- she’s yours. I just want you to know that this mommy knows you lost your baby. And for that, I am so sorry. I have attached a photo of Ryann and I wearing our Tikva necklaces. Ryann wears hers everyday because she knows she has a guardian angel with her now. I wear mine, along with my own kids' names, as a symbol of love and a symbol of the incredible power of motherhood. Much love as always - Liz

Liz and Tikva are very close, and she connects with her in the most beautiful magical ways...

Liz's dream just after I saw Tikva in the hummingbird outside the dentist's office: So beautiful… very early in the morning just before I woke up. I was with my great grandma (I knew her as a child) helping her get out of a public restroom. I was making sure she was put together, her pantyhose up, shirt tucked in. She handed me her broach and I took it and walked out to meet my grandma (94 and still alive), mom and Ryann on a park bench. I was conscious of the broach in my hand the entire time. I was excited to tell passer-by-ers that I was with all these generations of women. I felt like a part of each of them. The dream continued with all of us talking on the bench, on a hill, in the sunlight. The last thing I remember was looking down at the broach that was in my hand for the entire dream. It was a heart with a hummingbird. I felt such a tremendous sense of love at that moment. Then I woke up...

And this, in an email titled, Are you ready for this?: I am teaching Sunday school this morning and a woman our age comes in and introduces herself as Shanna, she was going to be my helper that day. I immediately liked her. About ½ hour into our class she notices Tikva (only wearing her today) around my neck and asks about it. My response, “Our dear friends lost their baby not too long ago and she has become our Gardian Angel. This is how we keep her close to us. Ryann, my daughter wears one too.” This woman looks at me, puts her hands in her face and starts crying. She looks up and says, “I was not sure I could get out of bed today and get here. I have not been out of the house for a while. We just lost our daughter and I have been so sad. I can’t tell you how touched I am to hear what you just said. Thank you. Now I know why I made it here today.” Just as she is talking to me a little girl pulls on my heart and says, “Teacher Liz I made this for you.” I look down, a red playdough heart. Too cool... She is everywhere that girl of yours. Still helping people live a more authentic life. God bless her.

If anyone knows how deeply connected we all are - alive and beyond - it's Liz. Thank you, sweet friend, for your huge open heart and soaring spirit.