Today is my amazing husband's birthday.
A strange time for a birthday.
Not a "high" time of great hope,
Like I was able to experience on my birthday,
The day of Tikva's surgery.
Not a full time for all that was ahead,
Like Dave's birthday last year,
When we had just returned from Sinai
And found out we were pregnant.
When he was studying in Israel
After waiting to do so for so many years.
Instead a time of pause, reflection,
In some ways feeling back to square one
Maybe?
I can't speak for Dave, but after almost 8 years together
Maybe I can feel him a little,
Know what is in his heart.
He says it better than me in his blog from last night.
Happy Birthday Sweetie.
I celebrate the day you were born.
And I love you now and always.
1 comment:
Dave's post is so powerful it gave me chills. My thought is that it makes perfect sense to feel what you feel and to shout it from the rooftops. Rather than let it fester. Grieve out loud. Railing and wailing. Why the hell not?
I have recently paid the price in the loss of a friend of 20 years' standing for living out loud--for my feeling emotional ups and downs and making no bones about it. Peaks and valleys. Life. Should I have curled up silently in a fetal position? Should you? NO.
You and Dave have been dealt a terrible blow and it has affected everything in your life. Speak. Scream. Rant. Rave. Wail. Cry.
I have no idea if things will be clearer one day. But I know one thing. The worst parts of this will pass. Not all of it, but the worst parts of it. You are changed forever. But the pain will be a bit duller. It only lessens, though, if you let yourself feel it. You will see your path to going on. Maybe not tomorrow. Or even next year. But one day.
I loved Dave's post(s) and I love your blog. I love the honesty with which you process your feelings. But that's just the kind of people you are. Sending warm hugs and love.
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